Author: Jade

300: Rise of an Empire review

Published by Jade

“We chose to die on our feet, rather than live on our knees!”

I’ve had the debate, I’ve trawled the comments and I’ve brushed up on my history. For those who know the story of the first and second Persian Wars 480 – 490 BC, and know it well, you may be disappointed that this latest instalment is not entirely accurate. But it’s still a damn good movie and if you know nothing of the history but like the genre, SFX or are just into the gore; you’re going to love this film. It features a host of actors from the small screen juggernaut Game Of Thrones and the Spartacus anthology, with quite a few Australian names top billing; even our own David Wenham’s abdominal muscles reprise their role as the only survivor of the original 300. I went and saw it in 3D which only enhanced the experience but I did keep checking to make sure I didn’t have any blood on me after each brutal exchange.

Rise of an Empire is a combination of prequel and sequel to the 300 film released back in 2006. Directed by Zack Snyder (Man of Steel) it uses narration and cut-ins from the first 300 to bring you up to speed and progress to the crux of this versions narrative quickly. It blends fairly seamlessly and there’s no confusion as the two storylines run concurrently for a period. Without delving into a convoluted history lesson here, the basic premise of the film is the Greek fight against annihilation at the hands of the Persian war machine. The Persian Navy is lead by Artemisia, played by Eva Green (Casino Royale) who is bent on avenging the death of King Darius. Darius was slain by Athenian General Themistocles, played by Sullivan Stapleton (Gangster Squad & Animal Kingdom) who became a hero, but it was his decision not to kill King Darius’s son that would come back to haunt him. You see Artemisia is actually Greek and, as a result of the one thing that can’t be argued about the history of the time, Greek infighting; her family was slaughtered by rival Greeks and she herself was raped and held captive. It would be a Persian Emissary that would find and raise Artemisia, under his care she would find her inner sociopath and Persian King Daruis’s favour. When King Darius is killed, Artemisia is driven by vengeance and will use his son, Xerxes, played by Rodrigo Santoro (300 & What to Expect When You’re Expecting) to destroy the Greeks.

After the death of King Darius, Artemisia sows the seed in Xerxes that only a God can defeat the Athenians. A meek and distraught Xerxes is sent packing by Artemisia into the desert and, near death, he stumbles across an exclusive hole-in-the-wall day spa where he is transformed into the very luminous “God King”. The “God King” emerges from the desert, looking as though he’s been rolling around in honey dust, and sets off to slaughter the 300 Spartans. I kept waiting for a flock of honey suckle birds to descend and lick him to death every time I saw him, at first I thought the things flying around the screen were just there to emphasis the 3D effect, but it could have been a swarm of bees they couldn’t shake from the set; obviously attracted to the scent of honey. Shiny surfaces aside, Xerxes plays the figure head and empowers Artemisia to indulge in her vengeful game with Themistocles. When Artemisia starts to run short on cannon fodder, and patience, she changes tactics and tries to employ Themistocles; with an offer of more than just world domination. When Themistocles gives in to his base desires the two go at it like lions, apparently the threat of violence is all the foreplay they needed and they set to throwing each other around roughly indeed! But it’s coitus interruptus when Themistocles still says no to joining the dark side, awkward…

Themistocles pays Queen Gorgo, played by Lena Headey (Game of Thrones), another visit knowing that if Greece is to survive the wrath of Artemisia now, they will need Sparta to come to the party. Themistocles is greeted first by Dilios, reprised by David Wenham (300 & Lord of the Rings) and looking worse for wear as the only surviving member of the 300 Spartans. The Queen is mourning the loss of the 300, in particular King Leonidas, and is not receptive to the idea of serving up more Spartans to Themistocles’ cause. As Themistocles sets to depart, he presents Queen Gorgo with King Leonidas weapon which he was given by the hunchback that betrayed the 300; “avenge him”. Well played that man! We’ll be seeing the Queen later I’m sure.

In an “all in” last pitched battle, Artemisia and Themistocles will collide in a flurry of sea spray, abdominal and pectoral muscles, and as much gratuitous violence as three seasons of Spartacus combined! I would love to have seen the storyboarding for the final scene alone, the movement and flow of action, the choreography of the fighting; and a horse! I’m not one for films that rely solely on their SFX but this was something to behold. The SFX propels the story rather than overshadowing it, the slow motion sequences and close ups of death blows; pure, exhilarating, entertainment. Artemisia takes a parting swipe at Themistocles “you fight harder than you f**k” which is not emasculating at all… With Queen Gorgo’s armada of ships on the horizon bearing down to join the fight, Themistocles finally decides it’s easier to dispatch Artemisia than get a restraining order. But the “God King” remains at large and the door is left open for another instalment. I can’t imagine it will be too difficult for Themistocles and Queen Gorgo to find him though, just follow the trail of glitter!

 

Attention: House of Cards Fans

Published by Jade

House of Cards Fans – Facebook Page

If you’re a House of Cards fan then you know that this show generates more questions than it does answers, it also means you’re spending unhealthy amounts of time burning brain calories trying to work it all out, and there’s a better than good chance you’re driving family and friends insane with your obsession. Well, you’re not alone and there’s help out there for you. That help is the House of Cards Fans page on Facebook. It’s a refuge for fans looking to analyse, hypothesise and do a little Monday quarterbacking about all things HoC. The group shares fan artwork, (some of which I’ve featured above) hosts shirt giveaways, loves a good meme and post HoC related news. These are your people and they’re all over #OneNationUnderwood like Frank on Freddy’s ribs! So head over to the page and join in all the diabolical fun!

“Let the butchery begin.”

 

House of Cards: Chapter 16 review

Published by Jade

“There are two types of Vice President, door mats and Matadors. Which do you think I intend to be?”

Well I don’t think it’s going to take a degree in political science to work this one out! This is the question Frank poses to us as chapter 16 opens. President Walker is fretting over the State of the Union (SOU) address and the VP is bored out of his mind, his well endowed doodle of a bull evidence of his contemptuous inattention. Tusk on the other hand is paying close attention and is none to pleased with the domestic focus of the draft address, Tusk needs international affairs to be front and centre, with the podium draped in the Republic of China flag just so there’s no confusion. As we now know China has the precursor Tusk’s nuclear plants require to keep glowing, and like Monty Burns he’s nothing without his radioactive industry. The domestic nature of the address plays into Frank’s hands, (surprise surprise) as an ongoing beef between the democrats and the republicans over raising the retirement age becomes the poison chalice threatening to sink the SOU address; and leave the Government dead in the water. Who doesn’t love a good Government shutdown? Apparently not Frank, Tusk or the President, but this will turn out to be the only thing they all agree on for some time. Now, we know how much Frank dislikes sludge clogging up the pipes so it’s time to get his hands dirty, again; by accepting the inevitable and acceding to the republicans who are in favour of raising the age of retirement. Hey presto! Avoid a shutdown, spice up the SOU address and get China back on the agenda for tiresome Tusk. Three of a kind baby! Then there’s the rub, the President will have to backflip on his retirement age stance, he’s firmly against it. Frank’s about to break this to the President when Tusk decides that he might be better placed to play devils advocate on this one, and with all the sincerity of a used car salesman, Frank agrees and stops just short of rolling out red carpet for the Presidents “trusted confidant”. Frank now has three days to bring in the herd and push the amendment through the Senate, no pressure… Something has caught my eye in this scene, apart from the President looking a little frazzled all of a sudden, it was Christina’s elevated profile. The President appears to have become quite reliant on Christina, but is it for more than just coming up with a good tagline? While Walker doesn’t have that ‘any intern will do’ feel about him there’s definitely a connection of sorts that he doesn’t have with Linda “tougher than a two dollar steak” Vasquez.

“I can’t have this conspiracy stuff going mainstream.”

With only three days to strong arm the retirement age amendment through the Senate, Frank gets to work on the Republicans, he dangles leadership support; staving off the freeze and bipartisanship in front of a reluctant Hector who also has the Tea Party to contend with “you’re the Senate Majority Leader, you don’t have to sell, you can dictate.” Lucas pops back up like a crazed stalker accosting Christina on Pennsylvania Avenue. He tugs at the Russo heart string to get Christina to sing like a canary on Frank. Fail. Christina’s not having any of it, she’s put Russo behind her, traded up for the President and doesn’t mind dropping Lucas in it with the VP if he doesn’t make like a thousand startled gazelles and get the flock away from her. It’s just getting a little embarrassing now Lucas, Frank’s murder count is clocking higher numbers than your fan club, and people actually like you. A routine threat assessment brief to Linda by the FBI and the Secret Service, involved the usual apparatus measuring between agencies, but with a lack of credible threats the all clear was given; the President and VP are SNAFU, that is Situation Nefarious All Frank Underwood (work with me on this one, I think it will stick). Stamper’s old buddy the FBI Executive Liaison was holding out however, he has already passed information on to Stamper, found by one of his agents, that there is some deep-web VP activity (sounds like nerd porn doesn’t it?) that isn’t looking good for Frank. In the best interests of the VP, this VP “digging” turns into a potential VP “threat” and the threat must be contained. It will need to be off the books of course and Stamper morphs into a Frank mini-me regurgitating the “I’ve got White House influence now” pitch to close the deal with his FBI buddy. Frank would be so proud. Meanwhile, poor Rachel has gone from working Johns to working phones in an equally unsatisfying job at a call centre pedalling firearms education and legislation awareness (yawn). Visual: she finally drops her bundle and goes postal, irony? I’ll check in with Alanis and get back to you… What Rachel does do is call her mother, which is interesting because she told Stamper she couldn’t go home in season 1. We know from Zoe’s snooping that daddy dearest may have been the problem, so her reluctance to have anything to do with home could be because Mum and Dad are still together. Whatever her reasons for distancing herself from her family, they’re now being overridden by her natural instinct to seek the support of her mother, a sure sign that life is starting to overwhelm her. I do hope she doesn’t capitulate, there’s fight in Rachel, a drive I don’t think she’s recognised yet.

“Francis faints at the sight of his own blood, he won’t even let them break the skin.”

Now we meet Connor Ellis (Sam Page), a delightful piece of soft, mouth watering eye candy, amongst some bland hard boiled jaw breakers. Connor is vying for the role of the Underwood’s Media Advisor, spin doctor, or professional redecorator as I like to refer to them. Claire is quite taken with Connor’s initiative “When I want a job, I do my homework” and gives him a little assignment of her own before he can be permitted membership to team Underwood. As Claire sees Connor out, and I do a neck muscle trying to follow him beyond the edge of my TV screen, the President with entourage in tow; barrel their way through the corridor. Who do you think Claire and I both spot looking more like a limpet than a staff member attached to Walker? Christina. I know what you’re thinking Claire, I’m hungry too… oh, and what is going on between those two? We know flirting when we see it don’t we ladies? Speaking of flirting, Frank, with the added aesthetic appeal of Claire; turns his attention to persuading the democrats that unity can be achieved with the republicans on the retirement age bill. This is done over a few glasses of wine, a seemingly innocuous activity that Frank and Claire still manage to make look downright sinister, I don’t think Judas would have been the problem if these two had been at the Last Supper. While Frank and Claire are busy dining on the souls of democrats, Lucas is tethered to his laptop and I suspect, begrudgingly to his melancholic existence as well. Even the sudden explosion of porn on the screen proves nothing more than an irritation until Zoe’s face pops up, mocking him from the grave. Low and behold it’s the hacker he contacted previously, cruelly tormenting him then enticing him with the promise of information. Progress at last! In a scene that could have been in any number of Bond, Bourne or Mission Impossible movies, Lucas is directed to a diner where an iPad is delivered to him; it would have been less obvious if he’d had ‘rookie operative’ tattooed to his forehead, he’s no Ethan Hunt! It all starts to get a bit techno-geek from here and there’s a freaky talking avatar, some fingerprint scanning, and “this iPad will self destruct” stuff going on but in a nutshell Lucas has to help the hacker get into the Washington Post system. Lucas does this under the nose of the most oblivious IT support guru in the known universe and, mission accomplished, he sends the data to the hacker and waits for further instructions; the instructions turn out to be a meet. Tusk lets Frank know the President has agreed to green light the retirement age amendment and the SOU address is being worked on accordingly, although Tusk is apprehensive about including details until Frank can lock down the agreement between the democrats and the republicans; who are now bickering over the implementation timeframe. Time is running short for Frank and he still has to mitigate Tea Party filibustering of the final bill through the house, so the last thing he needed was to hear from Stamper that Lucas is now another ball that requires juggling. Ever the diligent servant, Stamper takes the lead on this loose end but one gets the feeling Frank wishes the Washington Post would go up in flames.

“The higher up the mountain, the more treacherous the path.”

Lucas comes full circle back to Janine who still isn’t playing ball. Lucas it’s time to suck it up and get it over with, I’d rather give myself paper cuts then keep watching you search for validation and get shut down every time. No such procrastination from our smiling assassin Frank, he’s back to playing moderator between the democrats and the republicans only this time he gets his hand-shake deal and it’s smiles all round, no threats of violence or career destruction required; how disappointing. My disappointment soon turns to intrigue as Rachel pops up again. Rachel makes a friend on the bus who’s giving off a ‘Woodstock’ vibe, I can see her singing folk music and eating lentil burgers already, but she is affable and Rachel seems quickly at ease with the stranger; if a little drained from her day job. Our flower power girl gives Rachel a flyer for her church group and invites her to come and check it out. Stamper is going to flip if he finds out Rachel is making friends because I have a feeling this isn’t the last we’re going to see of our free love stranger. Jackie makes a brief appearance, long enough for her callous elimination of Congressman Havemeyer to come back to haunt her, momentarily mind you and she completely denies any involvement and moves on. On to getting some wicked ink in the form of poppies and barbed wire, Frank and Claire aren’t the only masochists on Pennsylvania Ave. I’m beginning to think there’s more to Jackie than just ambition, something even Frank isn’t aware of, I can’t quite put my finger on it; she’s had a traumatic military career so I haven’t ruled out PTSD. Whatever it is, Frank will sniff it out. Back at the White House Claire and Frank seem to be settling in and we now start to see them interact in new environs during the daylight hours, like normal mortals, it’s something of a novelty really. They are enjoying a salubrious lunch together in Frank’s office when Claire asks if Frank has noticed anything about the President and Christina, in typical male fashion he hasn’t, but on recalling the SOU meeting he joins a few dots of his own and like a pair of gossiping teenagers they toy with the possibility of a torrid affair. Hold that thought, Stamper’s here to ruin lunch, the Tea Party faction of the republicans has spooked Mendoza and the retirement amendment deal is off. Damn! That salad looked so good, I’ve been binging for nearly 3 hours by now and my stomach is rumbling, time for a fridge dive; I can’t watch what happens next on an empty stomach. I fear the next few scenes will make the opening 20 minutes of Saving private Ryan look like a Looney Tunes cartoon.

“I need to prove what the Vice President is capable of.”

Frank tells the President of the reneged deal, which went down about as well as you would expect when you’re swallowing razor blades, this will impact the SOU address and the relationship between the two men “Don’t embarrass the Administration Frank, you’re part of it now.” Once again Tusk has been duplicitous and given the President a different version of the conversation that transpired between himself and Frank. I can’t see Frank being quite so humane when it comes time to do what is necessary for Tusk, can you? Frank is now at DEFCON F.U. and when Mendoza refuses to back down the war machine is put into active duty, the Senate is about to become a battle ground. The camera work here is a standout again, following the action down the stairs and along the corridor, capturing the posse as they talk tactics on the fly and thunder along like Abrams tanks. Frank acts quickly to “stack” people and shift votes, favours are being dropped like propaganda flyers from a C130; and there’s so much leveraging even my TV looks like it has a slight lean on it. Assembly is about to start and a quorum is required for Frank to push his amendment through now that he has the numbers. In a move rarely seen, and presumably to maintain control and expedite the process, Frank takes his seat as the President of the Senate; this is going to be political Opera! As the roll is called the republicans work out what Frank is up to and bail like rats from a sinking ship. But Frank and the war machine anticipated the move and enact their contingency plan, the Sergeant at Arms is called upon to compel attendance. I’ve leant forward on my couch again, scanning the Senate floor for stashed weapons and land mines, Frank’s probably got the duress button under the desk wired to nerve gas! When news breaks of the unfolding drama “The Vice president is replacing democracy with tyranny and the Senate has been transformed into a Police State”  Claire is with the eye candy, I mean Connor, discussing the benefits of a joint interview for the Underwood’s. Connor, having already viewed a 1980’s joint interview, explains that the physical gesture of Claire running her fingers through Frank’s hair was an intimate moment; one that will draw votes, and if replicated will give them time to fly under the media radar. Cut to the search for the absent members of Congress and it’s like watching a well orchestrated prohibition raid! Hector’s worried and heads in to the democrat bunker where Frank is as calmly as you like sipping, of all things, tea. Frank’s got enough numbers to push the amendment through in whatever form he likes, but he’s only interested in the original hand-shake form and will settle for six of Hectors M.I.A to reach a quorum. Hector strikes his deal with the devil. The six republicans are hauled into the Senate to the sound of the fat lady singing, the roll is called, quorum is reached. The Tea Party ring leader moves to filibuster and threaten the bill in the House but is thwarted when Frank reveals the deal with Mendoza “read the fine print Curtis, it’s much more important than the selling price”, you see passage of the amendment constitutes passage of the bill; two birds, one bullet. Frank, you’ve outdone yourself this time.

It’s ok Raymond, Jesus forgives you.”

Our lentil burger friend is back, her name is Lisa (Kate Lyn Sheil) and the lure of good music, cookies and cake proves too much for Rachel; she’s off to church. Good for you Rachel! Frank calls Tusk out on his two faced politics with the President, telling him he’ll receive divine forgiveness, omitting any forgiveness of his own. Tusk does not look at all comfortable after their phone conversation is ended abruptly by Frank. What did you expect Tusk? Flowers and a box of chocolates? Lucas decides to go deeper into the deep-web and heads to the meet arranged by the mysterious hacker. On arrival Lucas is greeted by a late twenties or early thirties, well dressed, red wine sipping, hacker in a fancy looking apartment. Not at all what I expected, I thought we were going to see a pimply faced 16 year old with coke bottle glasses working out of his mothers basement. Lucas is interrogated one last time just to make sure he’s not law enforcement, gets a quick lesson in National Security and is introduced to Cashew. Ok, here is the oversized rat I spoke about in my opening review, this compensates for the lack of pimples, coke bottle glasses and basement; and is probably weirder. As we close the chapter, Lucas, Gavin (Jimmi Simpson) and Cashew; are watching the Presidents SOU address on the multitude of screens that feature in the apartment (I wonder if this set is modelled on NSA?). The President, flanked by the Vice President and House of Rep’s Speaker Bob Birch, is spruking retirement entitlements and a strong America. Frank, looking very pleased with himself, has secured the retirement bill for now along with Bob’s support; the pipes are clear of sludge and…

“I used to be on the edge of the frame, now I’m only three feet away.”

Captain Phillips

Published by Jade

COMING SOON to Blu-ray and DVD: Captain Phillips

If you missed seeing Captain Phillips on the big screen then you missed an extraordinary performance by Tom Hanks (Saving Private Ryan, Charlie Wilson’s War) in a gripping, true story, of high seas piracy; courage and desperation. So you’ll be pleased to know the Australian Blu-ray and DVD release is set for 6 March, which is not too far away. I was fortunate enough to see an advanced screening of the movie late last year and was blown away by it, so much so that I had to Facebook my thoughts and tag producer Dana Brunetti (The Social Network & House of Cards) while the end credits were still rolling; which was responded to with a ‘Like’ and induced an air fist pumping episode from me. I can assure you the hype surrounding this flick was absolutely validated. So, in support of the upcoming DVD release (I pre-ordered my copy over a month ago) I thought it timely to do a quick recap, particularly since the film has been nominated for Best Picture at this years 86th Academy Awards to be held on 2 March or 3 March for us Aussies; this is why it received the nomination…

Imagine a tin can sinking silently, blindly, with a hypnotic pendulum motion through liquid darkness. Imagine you’re inside that can, on a collision course with oblivion, helpless, scared; and alone. The pressure building incrementally until the imminent, unwitnessed and violent demonstration of physics takes place. The can will Implode. Crushed. No longer recognisable as the cylindrical vessel purposefully transporting a precious cargo. That state of hyperventilation you might be experiencing on the way down, that’s the perpetual feeling I had from about 20 minutes into this movie until the last moments; then I just wanted to climb into the screen, hug Tom Hanks and have a good cry.

“They’re not here to fish.”

Director Paul Greengrass (Bourne Ultimatum & Bourne Supremacy) has successfully managed to portray both sides of this geopolitical life and death struggle, that follows a group of haunting looking Somali pirates, as they bite off a little more than they can chew when they attempt to hijack the Maersk Alabama; a container ship bound for Mombasa. What ensues is nothing short of terrifying as the pirates and crew play cat and mouse within the bowls of the superstructure. When Captain Richard Phillips (Tom Hanks) ends up on the ships 28 foot life boat with the pirates, that’s when my anxiety really kicked in, the cinematography was masterful and claustrophobia became a very realistic concern. The last 20 minutes was very nearly the end of me when I realised I was holding my breath! I felt like I was right there riding every wave, I could almost taste the salty sea spray and feel the heavy; stale air, close in around me as I waited for it all to end. Even with the Navy SEALs (SEAL Team Six to be precise) dropping in, I still expected a traumatic outcome.

Tom Hanks performance in the last 10 minutes alone should have seen him take home a tidy haul of awards. His omission from most of the awards season has baffled fans and critics alike but on the bright side, Barkhad Abdi was a revelation in his film debut as Muse, the head of the very convincing pirate gang; and worthy of his own accolades. Barkhad did pick up the BAFTA for Best Supporting Actor while Billy Ray (Hunger Games) took out the Best Adapted Screenplay award from the Writers Guild of America. The screenplay was adapted form the book A Captain’s Duty: Somali Pirates, Navy SEALs, and Dangerous Days at Sea, co-written by Captain Richard Phillips about his 2009 hijacking experience. The film was also named Movie of the Year by the AFI and has a total of 6 Academy Award nominations tomorrow. In closing, Captain Phillips is an epic, action packed, thriller with an ending that will affect you deeply; and leave you feeling like you’ve been pummelled by rogue waves for an entire Deadliest Catch season with a gun to your head the whole time!

Good luck at the Oscars tomorrow Captain Phillips!!

 “I’m the Captain now.”

 

House Of Cards: Chapter 15 review

Published by Jade

“One heart beat away from the Presidency and not a single vote cast in my name. Democracy is so overrated.”

We open House Of Cards chapter 15 with renovations of casa Underwood in full swing and news outlets headlining Frank’s “uninspiring” appointment as Vice President, while he preens himself for the quiet swearing in ceremony; which will take place amongst the chaos of buzz saws and hammering. Preening complete, Frank makes his way downstairs stopping just long enough to have his privacy bubble burst when he sees the security cameras being installed, he won’t be pushing anyone down those stairs anytime soon. Stamper is subtly interrogating Linda Vasquez (Sakina Jaffery) about Christina’s fairing as the Presidents new help, in a not so subtle attempt to keep her occupied in the wake of inquiries into Russo’s death, and you just know there will be the obligatory strings attached. In the aftermath of chapter 14 we see Lucas drowning in grief over his “Twitter twat” girlfriend. He is abandoned by Janine whose fight or flight instincts have kicked in and she can’t flap her arms quick enough to migrate anywhere Frank isn’t. In lieu of Janine, Lucas is left carrying the truth crusade torch and eventually wins the sympathy of his law enforcement source; who lets him view the train station security camera footage of the incident. As Lucas watches Zoe’s last moment of horrifying human existence, followed by her bug into the grill of a Mack truck end; he’s gutted. You can almost see his soul shrivelling up in front of you. It’s a brilliant, pure and tortured performance by Sebastian Arcelus; who even gets the gentle rock on that people in shock sometimes do. I didn’t feel for any of the characters this season as much as I did for Lucas in that moment. Despite the footage supporting the Police finding of accidental death, Lucas, far from convinced; enlists the help of former Washington Post boss Tom “The Hammer” Hammerschmidt (Boris McGiver), whose most memorable moment of season 1 was informing Zoe that she was a repository for the male reproductive organ. Classy. Tom, looking a little worse for wear since being cast out of the paper, and with a six pack of beer (the preverbal all-purpose thirst quencher & problem solver), visits Lucas at work. For the second time Lucas doesn’t get the support he craves for his conspiracy theory. Back at Pennsylvania Avenue, the battle between the Whip candidates heats up and tensions grow between Frank and Tusk; the sparring becomes more vigorous. In one of the lighter moments so far there’s a particularly humorous awkward moment of expectant silence between Frank, Tusk and the Secretary of State that had me chuckling to myself; we’ve all been there. They exchange jabs down the telephone line over back-channeling the Chinese, with Frank playing the President off against his long time billionaire, bird watching (yawn) confidant; although I prefer him for a puppeteer. Meanwhile Frank is pulling a Geppetto of his own on Secretary of State, Catherine Durant (Jayne Atkinson), in his subterfuge of Tusk and the President over the Cyber-espionage sub-plot with the Chinese, while Jackie is busy setting her own table for a course of congressman hide; medium rare.

“Cathy, if you don’t like how the table is set, turn over the table.”

There’s a new thread woven into the fabric of Claire Underwood in this chapter that reveals as much about Frank as it does about Claire’s past. Claire is to accompany Frank on his first public engagement as Veep, dishing out stars to newly commissioned Marine Officers. As Claire’s assistant reads out the recipient list Claire becomes almost disorientated when one name comes up. The name is General Dalton McGinnis and he’s to be promoted to Commander U.S. Strategic Core. Claire discloses to her assistant that they went to college together and quickly moves on with the business of the day, which also happens to be the first time we hear Conner Ellis’ name; he’s on a short list of candidates to become Claire’s spin-doctor; more on him later. I thought the McGinnis thing would lead to a story arc of ‘the one that got away’, the first love, blah blah blah and cause friction between the Underwood’s. I would be wrong (Strike 1). All seems to be going well at Frank’s inaugural outing until Cmdr McGinnis, all chest and ribbons to match, avails himself at the Underwood’s table. McGinnis rejects Claire’s outstretched hand and instead lunges in with a kiss which does not go unnoticed by Frank. (I clear my throat. Awkward…) None the less Frank’s attention to the overly familiar greeting is fleeting once their five minute Harvard relationship is divulged, and Frank returns to his very informative breakdown of the three major crop yields in his home state. A short moment later Claire takes her leave looking rattled. Frank doesn’t miss a beat and he also excuses himself. In typical Frank fashion he has little regard for social etiquette, sends the Secret Service agent packing; and joins Claire in the ladies room. Claire, visibly distressed, tells Frank “it was him”, “Freshman year.” Frank seems to know exactly what ‘event’ Claire is referring to (my mind is running scenarios and narrows it down to one) but he’s apparently been blissfully unaware of who the perpetrator was all these years. The ‘who’, has just been identified as McGinnis. It’s a revelation that unhinges Frank, enraged he sets out for McGinnis; nice knowing you McGinnis, you’re probably about to wish you died as quickly as Zoe Barnes. Claire reigns Frank in before he passes the point of no return, working frantically to placate him and stop him from disembowelling McGinnis, consequently derailing their push to the top in the process. It’s a genuine moment and the first time we see spontaneous, reckless anger from Frank where there has been no real lead in; he’s been blind-sided before but he’s in the passenger seat this time, watching Claire take the full impact. There’s little doubt that had Frank escaped the ladies room it was going to be a blood bath. A persistent knocking on the door by the Secret Service Agent is a fortuitous distraction and Frank has to redirect his agitation. Spacey does well here, both in believability and managing overlapping dialogue between Wright and the soon to be redeployed Agent at the door. The crafty camera work lends some weight to Spacey’s aggressive posture and he cuts a formidable looking figure, one capable of punching you in the face for a change instead of stabbing you in the back. Claire is finally able to bring Frank to heel but not before he attempts to satiate himself by inflicting grievous bodily harm on a lamp. As you can imagine during the star ceremony Frank radiated residual heat towards McGinnis with a fixated, unblinking stare that would have caused most of us to spontaneously combust. Those stars may as well have been daggers Frank was driving down through the Commander’s clavicles.

When the Underwood’s arrive home later in the evening Frank takes a gentle tone with Claire, one we’ve only heard a few times previously. He does have the emotional capacity to actually care about this woman in isolation from the empire. Again I berate myself for being drawn in by this show of compassion. When he is shut out by Claire who retires to bed, Frank mopes around the townhouse, practically dragging his knuckles from the demoralised slouch he’s adopted; restless and lacking in purpose for the first time since chapter 1. He finds no solace in the online virtual butchery of his Playstation due to the connections not being secure, and is left equally unsatisfied with his proxy vice; a vapour cigarette. I wonder how long his “addiction without the consequences” will last. Defeated, Frank finally goes upstairs. Still awake, Claire recollects details of the rape (Hah! I knew it!) to Frank, who just listens. Claire’s confrontation with her past goes someway towards explaining her icy demeanour, even in this raw state she might as well be standing behind bullet proof glass; insulated. The weight of the reveal is too much for Frank, when he informs Claire he won’t be able to sleep, he is sedately banished back downstairs, “You’ll still feel the hate in the morning, you’ll use that, but not on him.” I’m struck by the range of emotions Claire can elicit from Frank, like the tides affected by the moon, Claire can push and pull Frank at will. Is Claire Frank’s achilles heel? The gap in the armour? In the absence of any intimate moments, it’s difficult to get a handle on the touch-point between these two, it goes far beyond the biology of symbiosis, but how far; and to what end? These two intrigue me.

“I strangle her Francis, so she doesn’t strangle me. I have to. We have to. The alternative is unliveable.

Lucas commences his extracurricular deep-net exploration in light of the Chinese Cyber-espionage controversy, seeing an opportunity to contract a hacker in order to get hold of Frank’s cell phone logs. Lucas, I feel for you buddy but you don’t mess with National Security, this is destined to end in tears. Frank’s reshaping of the President like a lump of plasticine has paid off with a show of strength against China, a backflip that sends Tusk into a tailspin. Jackie, doing her best Frank impersonation, is trying to divide and conquer the other two Whip candidates of Webb and Buchwalter in the interest of self promotion. Her only bargaining chip is the very man responsible for her career and long time friend, Congressman Ted Havemeyer; so Jackie seeks Frank’s counsel to find an alternative. When Frank is not forthcoming with one, Jackie’s desire to move up wins out, and she deftly drops the axe on Ted. Jackie exposes an old affair and the subsequent, hidden, offspring; a daughter with cerebral palsy. “I hate myself, but I’ll get over it.” Damn! I need my sweater from chapter 14, that’s below zero. Can you imagine Jackie and Claire teaming up together? What was that movie about the two lions that hunted and ate humans for fun? The Ghost and the Darkness, that’s it! That would be them. Jackie must have left her conscience behind in Frank’s office, occupational hazard I think, he probably keeps them in a draw and feeds them to a snake or something. Be careful what you create Frank. At the close of the chapter the Underwood’s are home and for the first time since the renovations, the townhouse is eerily quiet…

“We have our fortress now.”

House Of Cards: Season 2 + Chapter 14 spoilers!

Published by Jade

BREAKING NEWS:

Leader of the free world issues Executive Order: “No spoilers, please.”  

That’s no token endorsement and one that Netflix can leverage off for seasons to come. Praise from the lips of the President of the United States of America to the ears of the global executive level and then some.

Now, since I don’t serve at the pleasure of the President, I feel zero compunction to comply with the directive. Sorry about that Chief. I have however inserted a chapter 14 spoiler alert further into the piece, for anyone reading who doesn’t want their viewing pleasure diluted. You’re reasonably sheltered first up though so HERE.WE.GO!

It’s Valentines Day and I’ve battened down the hatches, double checked the contents of my ration pack and notified my next of kin that I’ll be off-line for the next 13 hours. I wait for Netflix to hit the enter key. As I do, I find myself salivating, and I hadn’t even clumsily removed the lid off my first refreshing cider. There’s a nervous excitement as I wait for an old friend I haven’t seen in a while. At 6pm Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST), I join millions of fans the world over to watch the juggernaut that is House of Cards, plough its way down the data cable and into my living room with such force; I could swear I felt the rush of air pass over my face and turn otherwise calm athena vertical blinds into a fury of fabric. It’s good to see you again Congressman Underwood…

The sophomore instalment follows the chapter sequencing of the previous season, with the opener being number 14, and every chapter has something to offer. Something that causes you to have a moment of rapid air intake (I had several imagined heart attacks attacks), or sit there slack-jawed, ignorant to the chilled alcoholic beverage you’re holding that soon goes warm from inattention. Something that makes you jump from the edge of the couch where you were precariously perched waiting for the next manoeuvre, fist pumping the air, hurling slanderous abuse at the victim; and exulting praise for the victor. Only to shamefully berate yourself as you’re reminded of the murderous histrionics of your champion. That’s right, I was rooting for Francis. Full credit to the creators, particularly showrunner Beau Willimon, for providing us with this story, these characters; whose apparent lack of morals have you constantly questioning your own. I was persistently seeking out, even willing redeeming qualities into the characters, in a bid to prevent my own unconscionable corruption. What’s more disturbing is that I did it out loud, alone, on Valentines Day. I was talking to a fictional character. But wasn’t that the point? To participate, bear witness, play accomplice…? I did it all, and I loved every moment, no longer the bystander content to rubber-neck at the scene of a crime.  You’re on the other side of the police tape now, moving amongst the carnage, immersed (I suddenly look at my fingernails for epithelial evidence). The fascination, the devastation, the triumph. Frank’s battle became my cause, his victory my elation, his crime my guilt.

At its core ‘Cards’ is about power and relationships. The rotunda halls simply serve as the funnel to ensure every tear shed, every bead of sweat exuded, and every last drop of blood rung out from its characters made its way to me; pooling around my feet. Season 2 delves deeper into the dark recesses of the Underwood’s, as individuals, and as an empire. An empire built on top of the carcasses of friend and foe alike, although I imagine their Facebook friends list would be a short read. The push to the top of the food chain even has its own hashtag #OneNationUnderwood, which would make a great slogan for a campaign, or even the Underwood pairing itself. In fact, the depths we descended to this season were almost terrifying and I feared I would never see daylight again. With so much more still to explore, and explain, between these two characters; I’m considering leaving bread crumbs and a Dolphin torch out for myself in season 3.

Frank and Tusk continue face off in a government versus private sector battle for supremecy. I could have been forgiven for thinking I was watching Nadal v Federer all over again as they traded aces, backhands, and blistering forehands at about the same rate. The loser of this Grand Slam however doesn’t get to take home a polished piece of consolation silverware, and the court is strewn with the broken bodies of ball boys. Pawns. Casualties of war. There’s no such thing as “trickle-down diplomacy” this season, only the remnants of a scorched earth policy.

“There is no sacred ground for the conquered.”

In the true sense of one-upmanship the writers have raised the bar with their character additions (and assassinations), brutality towards animals, and sexual exploration worthy of film noir categorisation. Among those reprising their roles from season 1 are Frank’s rubber band and the rowing machine. Both get more screen time than Zoe Barnes (Kate Mara) and warrant listing in the credits. The rubber band is a clever manifestation of Frank’s stretching and bending the rules, and people, to their breaking point; sometimes beyond. Whilst the archaic exercise machine in the Underwood’s dungeon, I mean basement, looks more like a medieval instrument of torture and doesn’t look out of place at all. I can see it getting top-billing in season 3 and I pity the prisoner. One of the more curious new additions looks like a rat on steroids wearing an oversized Cruella De Vil-esque fur coat. After some quick googling I discovered it was a Guinea Pig a.k.a Cashew. Turns out Cashew is a thief and steals the scene from her human co stars, in one of several powerful moments where those considered lower on the food chain, fall prey to the biped predators. I know what you’re thinking, powerful and Guinea Pig in the same discussion, must be Binge Fatigue. But it’s not possible with the pace of the narrative which moves along at an increased tempo from last season, if not at times frenetic, punctuated by moments that take you a full chapter to recover from.

Chapter 14 establishes the tone early. The musical score has has had a little tweaking, I meant tweaking, which compliments the heavier and more static atmosphere this time around. Even the new lighting reflected the moodiness and almost otherworldly air around the characters. Darkness has enveloped Washington, with the main protagonists using it to veil their nefarious deeds.

The performances have gone up a notch too. I’m tipping Robin Wright (Claire Underwood) to go back to back Golden Globes and round out the quinella with the Emmy, she really flips the switch in season 2! I thought Kevin Spacey (Frank Underwood) was unlucky in the 2013 awards season, but I’m hoping his luck changes in 2014 now that Bryan Cranston’s meth lab is closed for business. Part of Spacey’s longevity in the industry is his drive to be a dynamic actor, create multidimensional characters, grow; and walk where others fear to tread. He’s not as risk averse as many actors who might deliberately err on the side of sentimentality for the sake of self preservation. He doesn’t judge a character, he presents you with one, and forces you to make the call yourself. Anyone who has already viewed the whole season, or any of his other work, will recognise this to be true and know exactly what I’m referring to. But the best part? Spacey and Wright are electric together! Their off-screen friendship, which is obvious in joint interviews, translates to the camera. They go together like guns and bullets, one doesn’t work without the other, and the result of that fully functioning firearm? Well, it’s a weapon of mass consumption. There was one particular chapter I had to re-watch the following day (my addictive personality didn’t stop at one though) just to make sure I hadn’t fallen asleep mid-binge. I wasn’t dreaming! [insert slack-jaw look here. Again] “Holy Frank Underwood!!” Their relationship really is an empire to rival the Romans, in ALL aspects.

So who else chose to spend Valentines with the diabolic but effective #OneNationUnderwood, shooshing their other half instead of fawning over them? Whilst digital distributor Netflix is cagey about viewership stats, and isn’t subject to the Nielsen ratings system, external sources have estimated over 13 million subscribers watched Chapter 14 within the first eight hours of its release. Add to that the cable network and DVR numbers and it’s likely to be an impressive theoretical tally. To put that into some perspective, the AMC series Breaking Bad had an average of 1.2 million viewers in its debut season. By the second last episode of season 5 they had 6.6 and the finale drew 10.3. CBS Network’s flagship series NCIS, now in its 11th season, is still the most consistently popular of the scripted dramas averaging over 19 million viewers per episode since season 7. At one point spiking with 24 million. Its debut season pulled in just over 12 million. If 13 million is even close to the mark for HoC, and having already seen the entire second season, then I think Netflix decision to commission a third just made sense; and a growing fan base very happy.

The other thing Netflix is conscious of is spoilers. The team created a #spolierfoiler for Twitter fans which removed HoC hashtags from their feeds until they were ready to gather around the Twitterverse water cooler (Netflix has your back Mr President). The only problem of course with binging and a social media black-out? You miss the collective “WTF?”, real-time commentary. With a few scenes where you could have deposited a basket of cobras in my living room and I wouldn’t have flinched, not being able to engage my fellow constituents has been excruciating, hence my #CanTheBan Twitter campaign. It didn’t trend, go figure…

“I hate being kept in the dark. Waiting. Speculating. Useless.”

Chapter 14 SPOILER ALERT! Chapter 14 SPOILER ALERT!

In chapter 14 we pick up right were we left off with the Underwood’s still on their masochistic celebratory jog. Frank is still on the cusp of confirmation as Vice President. The journalistic trio of Zoe, Lucas (Sebastian Arcelus) and Janine (Constance Zimmer) are still on the trail, connecting dots as they go. Dots that Frank proports not to exist. As we know, Rachel is the piece of the puzzle they desperately need to find. Enter Stamper (Michael Kelly). He manhandles a very resistant, very large knife wielding Rachel into moving from one miserable existence to another; just out of reach of the reporting crusaders. The previous season intimated that Stamper had an interest in Rachel which extended beyond the need to simply to protect himself, and the soon to be Vice President, from implication in Russo’s death. This is explored further this season with dramatic results. In a role I liken to Richard III’s Duke of Buckingham, Stamper has his demons to wrestle, loyalty to uphold; and lines in the sand. All threaten to consume him. The first of the new characters, Jackie Sharp (Molly Parker) is introduced as Frank’s, well thought out (surprise surprise) replacement.

All the while Tusk is there nipping at Frank’s heals trying to cash in his Vice Presidency support chip. An economic issue with china, masked by a cyber-espionage sub plot, becomes the treacherous terrain Frank and Tusk (Gerald McRaney) will do battle on. Frank’s hunger for Freddy’s ribs has increased this season and it’s while devouring his unusual breakfast fare that Freddy (Reg E. Cathey) regales Frank with a story about how his delicious new recipe’s main ingredient is prepared. Frank is engrossed, morbidly fascinated even, “Bam! Shovel to the base of the head. No screaming.” Frank startles like a frightened child hearing thunder for the first time. But there’s a strange recognition in his eyes, like he’s just stumbled across the nuclear launch codes, and is already planning how to put this newly acquired information to good use. Claire confronts Gillian Cole with the charm of a rattlesnake, “I’m willing to let your child wither and die inside you if that’s what’s required”; said dripping with venom. With that, the law suit, and curiously her perceived interest in becoming pregnant herself; are promptly removed from the equation and she prepares to follow Frank to Pennsylvania Avenue. It seems Claire not only has the killer instinct of a cold blooded fish but the the maternal one as well. It’s easy to see why Frank loves her more than sharks love blood.

“Am I really the sort of enemy you want to make?”

In the first season, watching Frank catch & kill was like watching an adolescent killer whale play with a baby seal, before finally exerting enough pressure with its jaws to end the game when it tired of it; or was genuinely hungry. It’s rude to play with your food Frank… But he’s honed his skills and graduated since then. In a far more shocking opener than the now infamous ‘dog strangling’ chapter, and perhaps inspired by Freddy’s meal time story, Frank lures Zoe out. It’s time to put his baby seal out of its misery. #GoZoe indeed, right under a D.C. train! Bam!! [Insert a rapid intake of air I was talking about here]. You know when you can see the end coming from a mile away but it still manages to reach you with sound barrier breaking speed and take you by merciless surprise… With my heart still palpitating, I was fully expecting Frank to say her hashtag “Go Zoe” as he skulked away from the scene, just to reinforce his scorn for useless things. What struck me though was the violence and urgency of it. Was it just an impulse reaction to how much she knew? For me there was still a feel of premeditation, hedging his bets dependant upon how much she revealed knew, I suspect her show of contrition over Russo didn’t help her cause either. Whatever Frank’s intentions, her expeditious demise was in stark contrast to the sad, painless; but obviously opportunistic manner with which Frank dispatched Congressman Russo last season. Evidence of his indifference, if not contempt, toward Zoe is confirmed for us in his post-mortem address later in the chapter.

“Those were my choices and I can live with them.”

Frank (looking more like a super sleuth than someone with two counts of felony murder under his belt) returns home to Claire, who has arranged a small cake with a single candle on it, much to Frank’s obvious chagrin; but he resigns himself to obliging her. We now take another step down into the profundity of their union. It’s the silence that threatens to burst my ear drums. Another element the writers have mastered this season with some of the most affecting scenes void of any dialogue. The tacit exchanges between these two are potent. Frank unceremoniously extinguishes the single candle, a metaphor for the snuffed out life of Zoe perhaps. The muteness continues, their eyes re-engage, wraithlike they melt into black. The whole scene makes me feel like I’ve stumbled into the inner sanctum of a cult that has just sacrificed a virgin. A chill runs down my spine. The temperature drops further when Claire is only briefly distracted by the morning news headlining Zoe’s death. She pays it almost no attention and, looking more like she’s making a mental shopping list, she casually saunters away to apply blush. At this point I’m considering rummaging through my wardrobe for my favourite New York Giants sweater, to insulate me from the frost creeping out of the 52” screen, that’s only 5 feet away (excessive? Meh). The camera work further into this scene was masterful. As Claire finishes applying makeup we get an over-the-shoulder shot that stalks in on Claire. From this vantage point we see only Claire’s reflection framed by the edges of the mirror which has a slight upward angle. It’s positively regal, statuesque, impenetrable; and the camera is there to pledge fealty. When Frank declares to his new Secret Service Detail that they will be remaining in their townhouse after the confirmation, instead of taking up occupancy of the Vice Presidential residence, I was not at all surprised. The townhouse is familiar, their castle, a fortress and the centre of their kingdom.

“He’s got power, he’s got influence, and he’s got a lot to lose.”

Also of note in chapter 14 is Frank’s softening towards his newly promoted Secret Service Agent, Edward Meechum. It is evident that Frank’s tolerance for Meechum has increased when he accepts a birthday gift from his younger guardian. What’s so odd about that you ask? Frank despises celebrating his birthday and has Nancy distribute all cards and gifts accordingly: anything valuable goes to the conference room, anything cheap goes to the interns and all cards out with the trash. Even Stamper’s birthday jest is met with a threatened cuff around the ear. With Frank another year older, and soon-to-be Vice President, Claire decides to abolish the ritualistic lung torpedo by the window. Frank is deflated and I’m forlorn over the loss of this shared guilty pleasure (like they didn’t have enough), with the slender porthole having served as facilitator, therapist, and military advisor since Frank was duped out the Secretary of State position. Back to Meechum, who despite a warning from Stamper, bestows a set of cuff links on his boss which Frank promptly and proudly parades for Claire at home; although the audience does not get to see this prized gift up close. As I watched what I assumed was nothing more than Francis connecting with his inner child, a strange thought crossed my mind and I drifted back momentarily to the chapter 8 scenes played out in the old library of Frank’s military college, the Sentinel. Then there was something Zoe said to Frank last season as well, “What do you think about when I’m up against then wall?”. We know of course that Frank had a relationship with one of The Rifleman but was it just one of those ‘experimental’ phases we hear about? I mean, he’s married Claire since then and bedded Zoe, who appeared to have a particularly satisfying Fathers Day with Frank. But what of his tolerance of Claire’s side dish Adam? Could we be looking at a royal hybrid of Alexander the Great and Richard III? Vision: Meechum with a studded collar sitting obediently beside Frank being petted [insert second rapid intake of air]. Could I begrudge him though? Meechum’s a good looking rooster, patriotic and loyal; he packs heat for a living, and he’s prepared to use it. I’m giving this way too much thought! snap back to present. The chapter is drawing to a close and Frank, still standing in front of the powder room mirror, delivers his first address of the season. “Did you think I’d forgotten you?” I was beginning to wonder… In fine sanctimonious form he proceeds to tell me not to mourn Zoe Barnes, “All kittens grow up to be cats.” Once again, the end has justified the means. There’s a less humorous tone to this soliliquoy than usual though and Spacey’s steely eyed delivery is utterly mesmerising. After his positively barbarous welcoming message, Frank exits the powder room, the camera pans down to the cufflinks on the bench top and the design is now revealed. A single letter adorns each; F and U. The impact is immediate. I burst into uncontrollable laughter laced with pride at the inference. Just like that the hunt is on and I’m sweating chapter 15.

“There is but one rule. Hunt, or be hunted.”

For my fellow Aussie fans who don’t have Netflix firstly, my condolences. Secondly, get it! It’s quick, easy, dirt cheap; and you’re not breaking any Laws according to our own Attorney General. Netflix also has the exclusive Directors Audio Commentary for season 1 that, for whatever reason, didn’t make the Blu-ray release as was originally expected. It’s one of the most informative commentaries I’ve heard, and I’ve heard a few. If you have Foxtel you can catch HoC on the Showcase Channel Saturdays at 7.30pm (AEST). I’m from Brizzy so it’s 8.30pm for the Daylight savings states, which is most of you. Be sure to check your guides and set the IQ to series link so you don’t have to worry about missing it. If you don’t have Foxtel, it sucks to be you. I’ll be posting chapter reviews and of course you can wait for the DVD release, although it will be an agonising wait.

Season 1 is available on Blu-ray and DVD at most retail outlets including Sanity and JB HI-FI, even Woolworths has it! For the online shoppers try EZYDVD or Fishpond. I note EZYDVD has a ‘notify me’ function for the yet to be released season 2 AND 3!! Respect. Before I forget, you can also get the original BBC series on which the U.S version is based. It’s a great show in its own right but don’t look for hard and fast alignment between the two. Director/Producer David Fincher (Fight Club, Seven and The Social Network) and writer Beau Willimon, have fully optioned this model into a quarter mile crusher. Everything else is pedestrian by comparison.

Happy hunting!

“This is the part where you leave.”

 

 

The Wolf of Wall Street

Published by Jade

What did I think of The Wolf of Wall Street… ADDICTIVE!

You know, Kevin Spacey once said he was “ready to play Lester Burnham” in American Beauty by the time the role came up, he’d spent his career preparing for it, his acting had reached a maturity level that allowed him to imbue the character. It was a performance that would win him his second Oscar and lead him to be hailed as the actor of the decade, his generation and more recently as an actor for the ages.

Jordan Belfort is Leo DiCaprio’s Lester Burnham.

Like Beauty, Wolf is a dark comedy with an R Rating. It’s a portrayal of the ambitious and cunning Wall Street stockbroker Jordan Belfort (DiCaprio), a film adaptation of Jordan’s book by the same name. The story tracks Belfort and his band of idiosyncratic and, excessively merry brothers, as they snort their way through the commodities market during the 90’s.

“On a daily basis I consume enough drugs to sedate Manhattan, Long Island, and Queens for a month. I take Quaaludes 10-15 times a day for my “back pain”, Adderall to stay focused, Xanax to take the edge off, pot to mellow me out, cocaine to wake me back up again, and morphine… Well, because it’s awesome.”

From the opening bell, the hysterics, diatribe and orations come thick and fast, spraying the audience at the rate of an AK-47 on full auto. Belfort has more front than a department store window display while his side-kick Donnie Azoff, played by Jonah Hill (Moneyball, Get Him to the Greek), takes public displays of affection to a whole new level. All work and an obscene amount of play, throwing parties that Toronto Mayor Tom Ford would be envious of, Belfort’s team strip investors with the same devastating hit and run tactics of a locust plague.

“You have my money taped to your tits. Technically you do work for me.”

And so, stalked by the FBI and dropping more pills than a Pfizer production line could keep up with, Belfort’s high life reaches its peak with nowhere to go but down. His dramatic descent back to earth is written all over his 1989 Lamborghini Countach which he trashes in a Bieberesque style intoxicated drive home in one of the funniest scenes of the film. In the end, all the lobster, boats and Bolivian health products in his coffers can’t save Belfort, he’s forced to accede to the authorities.

“They’re gonna need to send in the National Guard to take me out, cos I ain’t going nowhere!”

It’s easy to see why the DiCaprio – Scorsese pairing is so potent, the two have collaborated on 5 occasions starting with The Gangs Of New York in 2002 and was followed by The Aviator, The Departed and Shutter Island. As far as relationship brands go, ‘DiScorsese’ is becoming a franchise in its own right with the partnership churning out more quality product than ‘Brangelina’ has signed adoption papers. In the 12 years since Gangs,DiCaprio has gone from mainstream star to acclaimed actor, demonstrating his acting maturity and chameleon propensity with films like Blood Diamond, Django Unchained and The Great Gatsby.

Throughout his career, DiCaprio has received three Oscar nominations, the last being 7 years ago, but he’s yet to take a statuette home. With his fourth nomination, Wolf has given him his best chance yet, and the baffling omission of Tom Hanks has increased his odds further still. But he’ll be competing with a resurgent Matthew McConaughey and a list of Best Picture winners weighing heavily in the favour of out and out Drama. So in the 2013 season, 14 years since the ascendance of the last ‘dramedy’ to the top of the Oscar pile, and driven by not only a need to survive but to dominate its rivals, Wolf is poised to pounce and like Beauty rip apart its celluloid siblings in order to become leader of this years pack.

I guess we’ll find out on March 2 at the 86th Annual Academy Awards where the winners will be as polished and paraded as the statues only to be mauled at any number of after parties likely to make the headlines for their own frivolity. Hopefully the Academy demonstrates its own maturity and sees beyond the humorous surface of Wolf to the intoxicating, frenetic and powerful performance DiCaprio has delivered, this is his Lester Burnham moment.

47 Ronin

Published by Jade

For anyone not familiar with the Japanese legend this is essentially a story of treachery, honor and vengeance. A band of disgraced and banished Samurai, known as Ronin, reunite and seek retribution for the death of their master, Lord Asano, who was bewitched by a rival clan leader and then sentenced to death for dishonorable behavior. The Ronin take on the forces of witchery and avenge their master but are also sentenced to death for breaking an oath to the Shogun. As their cause was deemed just and followed the old laws they were permitted death by seppuku, or ritual suicide, reserved only for Samurai. And so their sacrifice would become legend, at least that’s how it’s supposed to go…

Now, in isolation from the original legend, 47 Ronin isn’t a bad movie. It’s visually appealing but not over the top, a sprinkling of SFX lends credibility instead of causing epileptic fits, and I couldn’t pick out a bad performance amongst the cast. In fact, I didn’t know whether to be terrified or turned on by the Witch played with venomous vigor by Rinko Kikuchi, and Hiroyuki Sanada (The Railway Man), who plays Oishi and is head of the Samurai, brought gravitas to the tale.

But it’s the addition of Keanu Reeves character, the ‘half breed’, to the story that has caused contention, particularly in Japan where the movie committed Box Office suicide. 47 Ronin died a very dishonorable death indeed and the bad press followed it as persistently as Keanu’s facial hair.

The new version of the story sees Keanu’s character Kai found as a young boy and raised by Lord Asano. But he is always an outcast, sitting precariously on the lowest rung of the social ladder, and reminded frequently of this fact by the Samurai. This then leads us to the other new element, the ‘forbidden love’ chestnut between Kai and Lord Asano’s daughter, Mika. When it all goes pear shaped the Samurai soon learn that Kai is indeed different. He apparently spent his early years in a tangled forest being moulded into an instrument of death by some very antisocial, robed, bird-like creatures who have mastered the art of the mind f**k! Now Kai teams up with the Samurai, who have suddenly recognised their folly and accept him as one of their own, and puts his murderous abilities to work so that he can save Mika from a fate worse than death that is, marrying the clan leader responsible for her fathers’ death. Raka raka raka the 47 Ronin save the day, balance is restored and the Samurai are served up as sashimi in honour of the Shogun.

I’d just like to clarify now that it’s not the deliberate move away from the original legend that bothers me, movie makers have never been accused of letting the truth get in the way of storytelling, it’s the rationale behind the change that was disheartening. The ‘half breed’ character was allegedly included as a vehicle to deliver Japanese cultural and social structure to audiences outside of Japan, based on an assumption westerners wouldn’t understand the concepts of a feudal hierarchy system, which if I’m not mistaken was prevalent throughout the world for thousands of years prior to the slightly more extreme Japanese Shogun application of the system between the 17th and 19th Centuries, and can still be seen today by anyone who isn’t gullible enough to believe we live in a classless society. It’s a flawed argument at best.

So I’ve given the creators the benefit of the doubt and would rather think of it as their tactic to compete with the ‘pulse’ film as opposed to being a question of audience maturity. Real cinema now competes with what I call ‘Grenade Drama’ or the ‘pulse’ movie in Hollywood terms, movies of mass appeal that are hastily lobbed, make a lot of noise and obliterate anything of substance caught in the blast radius. These are movies viewed down the barrel of an oversized and unfit for purpose weapon, where meaningful dialogue is replaced by rapid fire exchanges of expletives or sarcastic quips set against a backdrop of randomly placed explosions and all brought to an abrupt and unsatisfying end with a man-hug or a cheesy smile from the main gun toter, sometimes both.

Keanu was definitely brought in as a recognisable face, but hopefully it was to give a beautiful yet relatively unknown story a fighting chance against the flood of comic book regurgitation’s, shoot’em up, grenade dramas that the big studios are churning out and carpet bombing the audience with. Unfortunately it was a gamble that didn’t pay off at the box office and their bid to cater to what they perceived to be the western palette has unfortunately left a sour taste in quite a few mouths.

All in all I did enjoy 47 Ronin and you can’t be too critical of any alleged inaccuracies in a story where two of the protagonists are shape-shifters! For Australians, if you’re into the genre then don’t let a few bad reviews influence you, go and see it now as the run won’t go much longer due to the tent-pole film line up coming out of the U.S post awards season. Sessions are getting hard to come by already.